would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
