You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
