I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
