he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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