last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I supernannyed him into submission
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
