I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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