I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
found the other keg... it's in the tree
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
