yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
