I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
