I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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