are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
