Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
