idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize