Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
