Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
