As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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