Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(228): View more from Mississippi

I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.

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(630): View more from Illinois

why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?

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(619): View more from California

We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.

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(614): View more from Ohio

I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.

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(509): View more from Washington

Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.

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(972): View more from Texas

he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.

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(907): View more from Alaska

Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls

(907): View more from Alaska

Dude you promised

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