there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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