How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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