We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
