She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
