just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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