I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
