I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
