Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
