Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
