Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
