Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
