PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
