Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
