i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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