the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
