Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
