we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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