Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Yo dont text me then not text me
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
