I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
