im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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