no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
