You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
