Im at strip club and am horny
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
