oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
did i just pee glitter
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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