Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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