it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
