D3 body, D1 cock
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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