She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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