I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
