What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
