some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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