um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
