I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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