And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
