I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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